January 2012
upisdown:
The fire alarm has been going off for half an hour and it keeps stopping briefly then starting again and I’m sat in the bathroom with a cheesestring because its the only place without an alarm so its slightly quieter. Urge to kill… rising.
I think that’s rather unsafe to not have a fire alarm in the bathroom. What if you’re taking like, the best shit ever and never want...
Hey phone, if you stopped being a little bitch, maybe your battery wouldn’t die as quickly. Shut the fuck up about it.
Oh, hi. I’m back.
Lol I’m danna and I’m a faggot
Bad text timing, bro
Me: But your insecurity and fear would make it even better. 11:32 PM
HxV: Awww whacky Jacky that sounded kind of romantic
Who wants to watch Biggest Loser with me and make horrible comments and jokes and laugh until our lungs hurt?
You know, if you want me to pay my fucking bill, you should make it easier to access my fucking account.
NO, I LIED
I do have something to say. So this fucking girl, she’s always complaining about the stupid things her boyfriends of the moment (stretched across time) do. And she has yet to realize what I saw as soon as I met her. I had to draw it out.
Problem solved. Finding the unevolved look attractive pretty good sign you’re attracted to morons.
Do do do doot.
I have nothing to say, so I’ll just say something.
"Oh, the working noose in my room? That was just...
Things everybody will think I’m lying about.
fuckingc0ol:
lcbm:
I guess I just don’t understand the sentimental “save the planet” shit. Sure, it’s pretty. But it’s as temporary as we are. As temporary as all matter. If we fuck it all up, welp, one planet down with nobody to remember it. Not much of a net loss for the universe.
Yea, but if we’re stuck living here it might as well be kept in good condition. It’s the only planet we have...
I guess I just don’t understand the sentimental “save the planet” shit. Sure, it’s pretty. But it’s as temporary as we are. As temporary as all matter. If we fuck it all up, welp, one planet down with nobody to remember it. Not much of a net loss for the universe.
1 tag
saaaaaaam:
If you judge people by what music they like, you lose like 293847509 points in my book.
That’s like thinking less of a person because of the foods they like to eat.
YOU’RE A GROSS PERSON BECAUSE YOU LIKE ANCHOVIES ON YOUR PIZZA! LIKE REALLY? GROOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!11 BOOOOO!!!
Giraffes are so fucking weird looking.
1 tag
Graffiti game
You know those optical illusions where you have to stand in the right spot to properly see them?
Such as….
Now what if you put that spot right in the middle of a busy crosswalk?
You create one of these illusions with the outside of nearby buildings, wait for people to catch it in their eye while they cross the crosswalk, stop to look, and get hit by a car. You compete against another...
Cocaine and cocaine accessories
I’m going to get myself a private, uninhabited island far off the coast of anywhere, a group of baby orphans, and some wenches to take care of said babies. I’ll be the island’s god and the children will know nothing about the outside world. And I’ll create all sorts of mythology about it, how I created the universe and what life is. How I lost my divine powers in a battle...
Phil Collins’ songs have begun to make a lot more sense lately.
1 tag
“Uhh… did I just see Lily Allen on your ipod?”
“…”
Oh, there it goes. That was weird.
Well it was fun for the three days it decided to work again. Happy trails, laptop. Come back soon.
I hate how wearing classic rock t-shirts is a fad...
Man, I had so many AC/DC shirts back in like, 8th grade. I was THAT kid.
And my hag of a wife will wear leather and have sagging tattoos and sit out front of hip chain bars on an overturned bucket, smoking and hacking her lungs out.
I’m going to be that old drunk guy at the bar yelling at young chicks with terrible lines like HEY BABY WANNA GET HAMMERED SO WE CAN SCREW? I HOPE YOU APPRECIATE THE PUN BEFORE YOU SLAP ME!
That’s my new goal in life.
bord as fukkkkk lyk rly hmu lol kbi
Yep
Some people just have no sense of texting etiquette.
It’s rather infuriating.
I’d wish you nothing but happiness, but frankly, I doubt it’ll ever come.
Nevermind. Just me being a fucking retard. Like always.
The refresh rate of my screen is just… off. What the fuck? I should not see the line of reloading going down whenever I use the scroll button.
Dear god, why the fuck would you mess with the positioning of the image on the screen?
My shit is all screwed up. I goddamn hate it when people touch my fucking computer.
I think I’d be good at Russian Roulette too. It’s like a probability game. If there’s someone before you, you have a maximum of 5 clicks of the trigger until you can shoot the most dangerous guy in the room who is going to jump you for fucking up the game by shooting at another player. So adjust your time accordingly.
I guess that defeats the spirit of the game, though.
I should do Survivor. I think I’d be good at it.
You act stupid so people don’t ask you to do shit or think your opinion is worth a damn. That just causes confrontation. And oh god is confrontation scary.
You’re not stupid. I know you’re not. You’re just afraid. Cut it the fuck out. You’re better than that.
Fruit on the bottom? More like throw away the top 2/3 and eat the rest.